Tuesday, January 29, 2013

My last and final blog post

I knew the day would come and it is here. This will be my last blog post.


Thank you for visiting with me!

I've thought about it for a bit, but I just wasn't ready. After my last post, I came down with a virus that attacked my lungs pretty bad. I took about 3 weeks off of much running, putting me behind in my training for Pemberton 50k and Old Pueblo 50 mile. During that time, I discovered that there are so many other things that I want to do with my time. Blogging is a time consuming activity. I want to spend more time with friends and also do more reading and house/yard projects. I've finished several books already since Christmas - it usually takes me forever to read a book.

My blog has always been for me; it was a creative endeavor, a journal of sorts. I documented my runs with pictures and feelings and facts about my runs. I rejected all offers to commercialize or promote my blog in any way. I just wanted to be able to create stories out of my experiences with my runs and my life. It also allowed me to look back at my runs and races to remember how I did and what they were about. A diary. I wanted to look back and see in pictures and words what I wanted to feel like on the inside - adventurous and strong.

Me and Dixie Dog in Colorado

It was about 5 and a half years ago that I started it. I barely finished my first marathon, and hadn't even started running trails or ultra distances. I enjoyed taking pictures of the people I ran with and the places I went. Slowly, I got into trail running and eventually ultramarathons, and my blog took on a life of its own.

My first 50 mile finish!

Eventually, I got into TTR (Tucson Trail Runners) and started running longer and longer distances. I have survived falls while trailrunning (requiring two ambulance rides from trailheads and a surgery with a plate and screws!) and learned a lot of lessons on the trail.

I met a few people over my blog that have become good friends. Julie, from Golden, CO, found my blog and came to Tucson to visit her parents. We started running together while she was here and we really hit it off. Every time she comes to visit, we try and hook up for a run or coffee. She has seen me through a lot.

The infamous Julie pose.

I also met Kathleen from Colorado Springs, who eventually started her own blog with her husband Steve. We spent a lot of time conversing back and forth through email for several years until I finally visited her and Julie in CO a year and a half ago. She has had her own struggles over the past few years - a very strong gal.

At the top of the Manitou Incline!

Just meeting those two gals have made my blog worth it all of these years.  I am so blessed to find these amazing women!

Other people have found my blog and it helped them with local trails or various trail races. The conversations I have had with all of you all have been kind and joyous. I am so glad that I put myself out there so I could interact with all of you. It made me feel special and brought a confidence in my life that I never had growing up. I felt helpful.

My blog has chronicled so much along the way.

During 2009, I separated from my spouse Ken and got a divorce after almost 10 years of marriage.

Ken, me and the Cracker Dog giving the 'fish eye'

I moved out and started on my own again. It was painful, but I learned a lot of lessons that I was able to carry forward into my new life as a single person. I eventually recovered from that and I am good friends with Ken to this day. I'm very blessed by that.

Through all of the trials I have remained sober. I quit drinking when I was 22. I will be 23 years sober on March 1st (yes, I'm 45!!) I quit smoking when I was 28 years old. I've tried to live a healthy, spiritual life and I am surrounded by people who really care about me.

In 2010, I started dating Dallas. He was new in TTR and we became friends after my divorce. We started dating and our love grew - we shared many things in common - cooking, trail running, spiritual matters, our troubled pasts. We quickly became best friends and got married on a trail in the Catalina Mountains in 2011.

I felt really pretty that day. One of the happiest days of my life.

We have run many trail runs and races together. We did a 12 hour night run, many 50k's and eventually did the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim to Rim. 

Shortly after we started dating, we took over the administration of the Tucson Trail Runners. We enjoyed it for a long time, but it was a lot of work. Ultrarunning is booming and we were getting emails all the time from interested runners. As of this week, we have stepped down from that in order to take care of ourselves and spend time doing other things that we need to do.

I've watched myself age on my blog; that hasn't been easy! But, I've also watched myself 'grow up' and become a more mature thoughtful woman. It has been a journey in self and I hope I have helped someone in doing so.

I started a new job last year that has taken more of my resources than I would care to admit at the moment. I have a lot of debt that I'm trying to pay down; this job will allow me to do that and be more free in the future.

My Mom died suddenly a few years ago, followed by the accidental death of my dog Cracker. Since I started my blog, I've lost many dogs and rabbits. I am no stranger to loss. I lost my Dad almost 21 years ago and I still miss him. Losing my marriage to Kenny was so difficult. I made it to the other side a stronger gal.

Now, I am going through another loss that I just don't want to go through publicly. Dallas has recently ended our marriage and I'm on my own again. 

***Update as of 5/1/13: Dallas and I are working things out and staying married. We will walk through all of our remaining days together with courage and love. We know we will grow closer with everything that has happened. We are best friends and we love each other very much. I am so happy that he is back in my life.***

So, it is time for me to say goodbye. 

Farewell my friends.

Thank you to all of you who visited my blog and maybe could relate to me or found a friend in me or just wanted to see what I was up to. It has meant the world to me. Now, I will be spending more time with friends, reading, and whatever makes me feel good. I'm not sure about my upcoming races; they are pretty unimportant right now in the grand scheme of things. You can be sure of one thing - I will keep running and keep loving and I will survive whatever life throws my way.

If you want to keep in touch with me, just send me an email - pinkcorker at yahoo dot com. 

Signing off - Pinkcorker. ;)

5 comments:

sami hammer said...

I found your blog on the exact day of your last post. I've been running for about 9 months now (minus a couple months off), slowly increasing my distance, with the goal of working up to long trail runs. I'm looking forward to reading through what you have up on your blog. Thanks for all your work, and I wish you well!

Unknown said...

Hey Renee, thanks for letting us peek into your personal diary for all these years.

I first found it after meeting you at OP50 in 2011 (I had my pink/blue boardshorts on), and even though I haven't kept up with trail running, I've still enjoyed sharing your adventures.

Sad to read your farewell, but more excited for you to be doing the things you love.

Good luck with all your endeavors - hope to cross paths again in the future!

Lisa said...

Renee,

I have followed your blog for a little over a year now as a guide to running in the Old Pueblo. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I wish you nothing but health and happiness as you begin this next chapter in your life. I will look for you out on the run and hope our paths cross as you've been quite inspiring. Thanks!

Tim Bentley said...

Well said and well written since the beginning Renee. The best stories are the ones we tell that evoke emotion, are personal and allow us to share a common experience. You did all that and more.

We know you will be strong, resilient and powerful. If you ever have any doubts if you can do it, just go back and read your blogs for a 'how-to' guide. It's almost like you left yourself a set of instructions.

See you out there - Tim B.

nrmrvrk said...

I just noticed the update that you and Dallas are working it out. Great news! I hope all is well with you and your universe.

(miss you blogging)